bananagrams (like scrabble, no board)

No baby yet.

I've gotten to a point in the pregnancy where I am totally and completely done. My feet are doing that awesome swelling thing they started doing about a week before I had Mira. I've been contracting irregularly since about 630am Sat. It's now 325am Sun, and no, I haven't been to sleep yet. They come about every 8 min...but not on time. Sometime's it's 6 min, sometimes 10. This could get old verrrrry quickly. Actually, it has already gotten old. *yawn*

For fun, here's a picture of someone never-before-seen-on-my-blog, the one and only PGG. Here, asleep with Mira a couple nights ago. Nice dark picture because I didn't want to wake them with a light or a flash, of course. And speaking of sleep, I'm going to go attempt a catnap.

What happened to my brain?

I got all excited last week, thinking that I wouldn't see TCO at the YMCA anymore. Monday, finding the Y TCO-less, I got a bit excited, thinking that maybe he rearranged his schedule or something. About 20 minutes into my elliptical session reality first went driving by in Viktor Krum's car, then walking by my window, then onto a treadmill in front of me. Yeah so my routine lately? Is 25 minutes on the elliptical followed by 10 on the treadmill. Of course, when I was done on the elliptical machine, there were three treadmills open. Three out of oh, twelve or so? All three open machines adjacent to TCO. My bravery faltered, and I went upstairs to do my weight circuit before looking again for available treadmills.

Maybe my relationship with TCO was doomed by my refusal to accept it is a real possibility. I kept waiting for something to go wrong instead of trying to make things right.

I'm beginning to wonder also what I'm doing with a boyfriend. I am way too busy for a boyfriend. I don't have time for myself, let alone all of this that I've gotten myself into. Sometimes my perpetual hopefulness really gets the best of me. I've always wanted a nice L-H I. M., yet this year I've lost one and blew my chance off with another. What do I get instead? A very, very, very sweet PGG. Sounds simple enough, no big deal, if it doesn't work out, better luck next time, right? No. I already have two children originating from two separate dads. If I were to have a third child, it'd be with a third different person? How rotten is that? There's no going back from that. So where it should seem simple, it's not at all. It's like...if this doesn't work out, I just give up. I'm done. No more.

May this relationship not be doomed as well, by my fear of everything being over.

Passing the Torch

Or, good news for Flamenco Dancer.
PGG saw TCO on Tuesday afternoon, riding his bike down 11th Street. PGG reports that they made eye contact and TCO gave him a smile-nod acknowledgment.

About a month ago, seemingly out of nowhere, TCO had dropped off my friend Flamenco's car at my house. I didn't know it had been done until late that night (whatever night it was). My friend Flamenco, the one in Spain, has had this little Ford Festiva that she tools around in when she's back in the States. And during the academic school year, while she's been in Spain, has lent it to friends who needed a vehicle. Last summer when she left, she had gotten to know TCO and since he didn't have a car she offered it to him. Signed the title over and whatnot. Well, anyhow, it was brought back to my house just before I left for Spain myself. PGG tried to start it after I'd returned with no luck. The jumper cables left in the car were damaged somehow. I've been so ungodly busy with everything else that I haven't really worried about it. I don't own jumper cables of my own.

So, Tuesday evening, PGG's mother and brothers came to Lincoln. While waiting for me to get my act together and get my kids fed so that we could all go bowling, they got the Festiva going. And go it did--the four of them took it for a ride. Where they went I do not know, but it was driven out to Champions Fun Center, where we went bowling, a good enough drive away, also. It did start all by itself to go to and return from Champions.

Now, to address the painfully balding back tires and titling/insurance/plates issue...they expire this month. TCO doesn't want me to speak to him, apparently, so I hope I do not need him to sign any additional paperwork. But it is only fitting that TCO was the last person to drive the Festiva, saw PGG Tuesday afternoon, and then PGG to be the next person to make it go later the same day.

more cryptic quotes

Today PGG and I went out for lunch. I've had a super busy week at work and the break was much welcomed. After a lovely meal of samosa, mulligatawny soup, and lamb biryani at The Oven we went to Ivanna Cone, where one of the day's flavors was lemon poppyseed.

How could we possibly resist?

Just a lil FYI

The PGG poppyseed is not up for discussion here, at this point. That will come at a later date.

Tidbits

The only good thing about Iowa: They have free wireless Internet at the rest stops. Both of the airports I've been in today do not. We shall see about the third later. And a fourth tomorrow.

On Friday, I gave TCO the rest of his stuff back. An Astronomy textbook, some socks and other assorted clothing, The Princess Bride DVD, tupperware, and other odds 'n ends including the pillow I wouldn't let him take in January. I smiled at him widely, a nervous reaction, and he just said, "all right." So anti-climatic. Such a beauty, that one.

On the upside, things with PGG are progressing swimmingly. This one, the sweetest one, this one who can tolerate Mira's screams...

Love

Mira screamed for about two hours solid the night before last. PGG was here. "Does the screaming bother you?" I asked him, as he lay on my couch, seemingly unaware of her pitiful high-pitched wailing. "No," he answered, easily. I probed further..."you still want babies?" somewhat incredulously. "Yes."

Oh my...

Basophils, neutrophils, eosinophils, monocytes, leukocytes...

I'm going to Hell; care to join me?

Hermione has reassured me that she'll get there first and get the party started. Apparently, most of my friends and acquaintances will be joining me. In fact, I've appointed myself Gateskeeper and took it upon myself to bestow upon one lucky individual a VIP door pass. Ah, the goodies that await that person. !

My human physiology class is in full swing. Midterm exam is on Tuesday. I still haven't started my graduate school application...really need to work on that. Unfortunately, I've been swamped at work, what with tax season on top of the work that keeps me more than busy the rest of the year.