19.5.07

I'm Still Lame. And My Kids Are Still Cute.

There's Mira on the potty for you all. I know there is an 'all,' despite the lack of comments, b/c I see the individual visits on a little graph when I log in. Anyhow. Mira goes on the potty pretty much every morning, unless Mommy doesn't get out of bed soon enough. If I were able to stay at home with her for a few days in a row, and not have to take care of the house much, I bet she could be trained pretty quickly. But since I DO work over 40 hrs/wk, and I AM the only adult in this house, and I AM losing my mind, it won't happen too soon.

My ongoing frustration of late is beginning to become apparent to me in the form of social anxiety. This is nothing new.

Just today, in the span of three minutes, I had the chance to talk to at least two people whom I would have liked very much to at least exchanged hellos. Neither of these people probably knows how much I would have valued even a simple greeting. I don't initiate conversations and I probably come off as either aloof, oblivious, or both, when I am in fact neither.

We were out riding our bikes today. Before riding by these person's homes, I had imagined probable dialogues in my head, rehearsed them a few times each. In front of the first home, just as we were going by, I saw the first person come to her door. What timing! Then, as we approached the second persons' home, I saw him pull up in a car. Again, what timing! A perfect opportunity, in each case, for me to put on the brakes and say, "Oh! Hey! How are you?"

No. Nothing. Instead I do my best to look focused on what I am doing...as opposed to what I am not doing.

I have many more examples, but I won't bother to elaborate.

Saturday May 19, 2007 - 10:42pm (PST)

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