I'm feeling kinda bi-polar lately. In recent weeks, a months-long trend of rising happiness swept upwards at a courageous pace. For no apparent reason, I was happy. Just happy. Comments and situations flew by, touching my heart but failing to disrupt the giddy two-step-stepping. Everyday things, like a blade of grass pushing through the wet earth or a bright bud popping out from a green stem, triggered wide grins. Those silly, private smiles between you and noone else that are perhaps the most genuine of happiness since there is nary an outsider observing. No performance for anyone.Well, that happiness came to a peak. I'm not happy anymore. I still smile, but I'm just as likely to be brooding. The stress wasn't new; the busy-ness hadn't ever stopped and the frustration hadn't ever dropped off of the radar. But it had only been a minor distraction as I sped off to work, late, again, or whatever. Now it's buzzing under my skin, an uneasy, attention-craving nervousness that inspires me to run, run away and never return.
Sunday May 13, 2007 - 10:57pm (PST)
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