I don't know what to do. It seems like I can't win. Not that I want to win, per se. I'm looking more for a draw, where neither wins and neither loses. If I answer his questions, I'll be giving him information he doesn't need to know. If I remain quiet, he assumes the worst and badgers me from there. He doesn't care if Torrin and Mira are there; he's totally comfortable making statements like "Quit spreadin' your legs, Jacinda," and "Would he still spend time with you if you weren't spreading your legs for him?" in full listening range of a six-year-old (and a two-year-old, for that matter). When I won't answer his question ("So is he good, or is he trash?") he tries to get information from Torrin ("So, do you think your mom's new boyfriend is going to be a good dad for you and Mira?").
I told him to give me Mira, and he could leave. I told him I wasn't going to answer his questions. He wouldn't give her to me (of course) and I can't physically make him give her to me. But I'll be damned if I want him taking her if he's going to act like that.I wanted to call the police, but for what? Since he's her father, they can't take her from him. There's no formal custody arrangement, but I am her custodial parent. But even if there were an arrangement, I still don't think he could be prevented from taking her.
He damn well should be. What did he have to say of Mira during this particular exchange? "This is my illegitimate child." How dignifying. WTF. Can't even treat his own daughter with respect.
Thursday October 18, 2007 - 05:25pm (PST)
Ugh. That just sucks. You would think he could be at least a little dignified in the presence of your children. And at least a little respectful of their mother. As for the visitation... no, they probably couldn't physically take her away from him, at least during a visitation that you agreed to; but, likewise, in the future, if you deny visitation, he would have to go to court to get it because you are the custodial parent and you make the decisions at this point. Would he be that motivated? PS: Happy belated birthday, Mira!!!--julie
Saturday October 20, 2007 - 02:30pm (PST)
I'm calling you. This is bullshit and we need to talk. Fuck him. Don't let him even come over anymore-this is not only detrimental to you, but your children. You all deserve better. Who knows what he fills her head with when you're NOT there.--Flamenco dancer
Thursday October 25, 2007 - 12:51am (PST)