who steals CDs these days?

The thief was not smart. They rummaged through the glove compartment and took a Britney Spears disc, along with a dozen or so mostly burned discs that had been in a visor holder. I'm a little annoyed, because there were a couple of actual CDs in there that were of the legal, purchased variety. I can burn a new Veggie Tales Silly Songs suite (although a compilation entitled "Loud" came from TCO and can't be replaced). But these?

Namely the pink one? That thing alone is worth over $200. They didn't take that. Thank you, Idiot.

3 letters

Following my much-debated text, composed so that it did not necessitate a response, came these three letters, last night at 1:35am: bye.

Today, I threw away a stack of banana pancakes. They have fabulous maple syrup in the Northeast, you know.

Either go away or just say hello...

Because OMGoodness this is driving me nuts!

Isn't one Viktor Krum at my workplace enough? TCO, I am so disappointed with your social (sk)ills that seem to be more and more mimicking those of Viktor Krum...it's not a good thing...as you yourself have stated on so many occasions...Viktor is an a$s. And who Else has a lil white Kia? LOL...

It's fun to stay at the...

Okay, so we don't use the YMCA in that sense...but in any case, we went last night and re-started our membership. It was nice to go again. You'd be surprised how 10 - 13 miles of daily bikeriding did NO favors for my body. But I must say, I was impressed with how non-pregnant I looked in my now skin-tight workout clothes. I would've felt reasonably comfortable running into TCO there (which of course is always a distinct possibility). And as far as I know, he doesn't know. He did volunteer with the youth program a bit last week, and another guy who interns with the youth program knows. But I doubt that's something he'd just up and talk about. It's just a matter of time, though. TCO's brother Viktor Krum is technically my supervisor, and I'm due to sign a contract at the end of the month to continue working there. Except that whole baby being born at the end of November or early December detail...which is something he should probably know about.

Lost, Found, and Stolen

Torrin and Mira yesterday at Oak Lake

Lost

-the keys to the Festiva. Hmmm... We'll work on that one.

Found
-TCO's satchel of tobacco. He's not a smoker but for traditional and ceremonial purposes. Is the stuff still any good six months later? I'm debating sending it to him. I found it while cleaning around my bed. After 5 years on a futon with two eggshell things to make it permissible for sleeping, I've upgraded to a real bed. Somehow a full size mattress seems a lot smaller higher off of the ground.

Stolen
-3 packs of Bonbel cheeses. On Friday we walked to our neighborhood ghetto-grocery store, with the stroller, to get groceries. After we'd gotten home and I'd put away what I thought was all of the groceries, I went to collapse the stroller down to put it away I found the cheese stuck inside the pull-out canopy thing. Um. Hmmm. I wasn't about to walk back then, hungry, after a mile walk, grocery trip, day at work and 12 miles of bikeriding. I considered calling the store but chickened out. Well, we'll be back there again soon enough.

What happened to my brain?

I got all excited last week, thinking that I wouldn't see TCO at the YMCA anymore. Monday, finding the Y TCO-less, I got a bit excited, thinking that maybe he rearranged his schedule or something. About 20 minutes into my elliptical session reality first went driving by in Viktor Krum's car, then walking by my window, then onto a treadmill in front of me. Yeah so my routine lately? Is 25 minutes on the elliptical followed by 10 on the treadmill. Of course, when I was done on the elliptical machine, there were three treadmills open. Three out of oh, twelve or so? All three open machines adjacent to TCO. My bravery faltered, and I went upstairs to do my weight circuit before looking again for available treadmills.

Maybe my relationship with TCO was doomed by my refusal to accept it is a real possibility. I kept waiting for something to go wrong instead of trying to make things right.

I'm beginning to wonder also what I'm doing with a boyfriend. I am way too busy for a boyfriend. I don't have time for myself, let alone all of this that I've gotten myself into. Sometimes my perpetual hopefulness really gets the best of me. I've always wanted a nice L-H I. M., yet this year I've lost one and blew my chance off with another. What do I get instead? A very, very, very sweet PGG. Sounds simple enough, no big deal, if it doesn't work out, better luck next time, right? No. I already have two children originating from two separate dads. If I were to have a third child, it'd be with a third different person? How rotten is that? There's no going back from that. So where it should seem simple, it's not at all. It's like...if this doesn't work out, I just give up. I'm done. No more.

May this relationship not be doomed as well, by my fear of everything being over.

Passing the Torch

Or, good news for Flamenco Dancer.
PGG saw TCO on Tuesday afternoon, riding his bike down 11th Street. PGG reports that they made eye contact and TCO gave him a smile-nod acknowledgment.

About a month ago, seemingly out of nowhere, TCO had dropped off my friend Flamenco's car at my house. I didn't know it had been done until late that night (whatever night it was). My friend Flamenco, the one in Spain, has had this little Ford Festiva that she tools around in when she's back in the States. And during the academic school year, while she's been in Spain, has lent it to friends who needed a vehicle. Last summer when she left, she had gotten to know TCO and since he didn't have a car she offered it to him. Signed the title over and whatnot. Well, anyhow, it was brought back to my house just before I left for Spain myself. PGG tried to start it after I'd returned with no luck. The jumper cables left in the car were damaged somehow. I've been so ungodly busy with everything else that I haven't really worried about it. I don't own jumper cables of my own.

So, Tuesday evening, PGG's mother and brothers came to Lincoln. While waiting for me to get my act together and get my kids fed so that we could all go bowling, they got the Festiva going. And go it did--the four of them took it for a ride. Where they went I do not know, but it was driven out to Champions Fun Center, where we went bowling, a good enough drive away, also. It did start all by itself to go to and return from Champions.

Now, to address the painfully balding back tires and titling/insurance/plates issue...they expire this month. TCO doesn't want me to speak to him, apparently, so I hope I do not need him to sign any additional paperwork. But it is only fitting that TCO was the last person to drive the Festiva, saw PGG Tuesday afternoon, and then PGG to be the next person to make it go later the same day.

mucho frio

mucho frio uno:
We haven't had hot water since Thursday. I called for someone to come check it out on Friday--nothing. Called again Saturday, a bit more pissed off, and was rewarded 12 hours later by being informed that our downstairs neighbors haven't ever paid their gas bill, were shut off, and oops, your hot water heater is the same as theirs.

Two years, nearly, we've been living here, and we never knew. We have our own natural gas bill for heat. I wondered why it didn't go up when my dad was staying here, with his added showers and laundering, but didn't question it too much.

I want my hot water back!!! They said maybe today...well...I finally conceded defeat and washed a load of "warm" laundry. The water was definitely not warm. Sigh! Tomorrow please! Charge me $100 of the neighbor's bill if it'll expedite the process!

mucho frio dos:
I received a text message from TCO Saturday night. I had initiated the conversation, because I was bored in a bar. He asked, "why [I] may have been seen parked outside my house or am i mistaken?" Greeeeat. "Been seen" would seemingly imply that he personally did not witness the accused infraction. So who thinks I've been staking out his house? Viktor Krum, his bro/roomie, AKA, one of my supervisors at work? Simply superb! I wrote back something to the effect of "F*(k no!" and asked if that was why he acts weird when I chance upon him. "That may be part of it" was the less-than-succinct reply.

So...fast forward to today. I was unsatisfied with how things left off. I will admit to having driven by their house a few too many times in the beginning...their house is on a main street, not out of the way from many places. But there's a difference, I think, between driving by a house on an artierial road in my own neighborhood and parking by it on spy watch. Come on. I don't want him thinking I'm pulling that kinda crap. So, I attempted to extend an olive branch, if you will, via Facebook messaging:

Me
Today at 12:08pm
I think it's retarded if we can't even be civil and say hello to each other. I'm not watching your house or anything weird like that. I do "miss" you, but I'm not trying to get you back or whatever. I am very happy where I am, and would just like to be able to talk to you sometimes. That is all. Nothing more.

TCO
Today at 2:20pm
I just don't understand why if you're so happy then why would you want to talk to me?

Me
Today at 3:06pm
i don't have anything in particular i want to talk to you about. i just mean in general. you know, "hello, how are you." nothing deep. it seems childish to never speak to someone again. i don't need you for anything, but you were important to me for awhile there, and it's nice to keep in touch.

TCO
Today at 5:51pm
I'm trying to do this in a nice way so you don't get upset but it seems you haven't been respectful to me. I just would like to be left alone. I would like it if you could respect me enough to do that. I'm tired of this so this is that last time I'm going to tell you.

Thus, I conclude, that is that. I'm curious as to what he thinks I've been disrespectful. I'd like to ask, but clearly, he is not interested in continuing conversation. Congratulations, Voldemort, you were right, he didn't really care that much. But dammit, he got me unhooked from you, and for that I am eternally grateful. PGG has sealed that fate. I am now completely done with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. I'm guessing that the disrespect loops back to a perceived Sirius Black link while we were still together. That's exactly what was so crazy about the stuff Sirius Black said then--it was based solely in the land of text messaging. We hadn't seen each other. Nada. I'd had no idea that that old acquaintance/friendship would turn that direction. Voldemort, too, recently brought Sirius up, spouting off at me that just a couple months ago I was "fooling around with one guy while dating another," based on his assumption of my life gathered from this blog. That's not true, not at all. I loved The Boy Who Lived, and wouldn't do that to him. I didn't want to hurt him. He's a beautiful person, with a wonderful family and great potential for a vibrant future, and it seems a shame to lose everything, even superficial contact. I didn't mean to do it, but I did, I loved him, and I do. It doesn't just go away. But it just got squelched a bit more this evening.